NOTICE TO ALL MEMBERS
It was determined some time ago by the co-op sector, that Committees have never worked in the past and will henceforth be considered obsolete. The reason for this transformation in thought processes is because we have an abundance of Property Managers, who are seeking well-paid positions in co-op housing developments. This allows for more control at the top echelon of power and unites all co-ops under one umbrella. Property Managers can easily be transferred from one co-op to another; therefore co-ops will never be without good governance.
However, there is one issue left outstanding. Because Committee structures are still enshrined in our By-laws, members must still participate four (4) hours per month. To achieve this goal, we have formulated a concept in member participation entitled: Totally Useless Committees.
The Board of Directors have created a Participation Committee of hand-chosen members. This Committee will draft members to sit on the following:
TOTALLY USELESS COMMITTEES
1. Eyelash Trimming - Equipment will be provided
2. Sewing Needle Exchange - No Blunts accepted
3. Motor Oil Trench Cleaning - Wear hip boots
4. How to Read a Menu - Reading glasses an option
5. Pet Name Recitals - Duplicates will not be accepted
6. Ear Lobe Enhancements - Individual assessments
7. Star Gazing - Nite time viewing only
As Participation is mandatory according to our By-laws, any member refusing to sit on the committee to which they are delegated, will be subjected to fines - yet to be determined. Repeated failures to participate will inevitably result in eviction notices.
THANK YOU FOR VOLUNTEERING AT YOUR CO-OP.
Saw this the other day and wondered how I could match your creativity. Sadly, I came up blank. But if Python could have a Ministry of Silly Walks, maybe there's an equivalent type of committee.
ReplyDeleteI know here they once tried some kind of Big Committee to look after or monitor the affairs of all the other committees --- which is kind of Pythonesque in itself. But that died a quick death presumably because few of the other committees were functioning all that well.
Co-op committees are anachronistic. But it looks good to have them. Papers have to be shuffled, wide-ranging discussion that often ends in a stalemate is mandatory, participation reports are collected to monitor other people's participation (and taking "corrective action" as necessary ) It makes committee people feel important, esp those that are (as often the case) populated by directors who apparently don't have enough to do.
Ending co-op committees? It would be the end of civilization as we know it!
Or not.